Philip Gray felt a deep emptiness.
The Army sergeant packed for his Afghanistan deployment, dreading the nine months without his wife and 7-year-old daughter, Rosie.
He thought of everything he would miss… the birthdays, holidays, special events. It was overwhelming.
But then his wife offered an idea. Philip followed through with it, not knowing it would one day make him famous.
When he finally returned home from the mission, Good Morning America interviewed him. Other media outlets followed. Soon, his family’s social media videos went viral.
Why? It was all because of his one simple action.
What did Philip do?
He wrote 270 index card messages for his daughter, one for each day he was gone. Every morning, his wife slipped a note into Rosie’s lunchbox.
Here are a few of them:
You are sweet! You are awesome! You are kind!
When you get home, have a dance party with mommy
Have fun at Tae Kwon Do!
I hope you run fast in P.E.
Be a mermaid!
Smiling makes everyone else smile
When Philip’s wife uploaded a TikTok video showing both the notes and his homecoming, people watched it over 250,000 times.
Rosie loved the notes from her dad — and wants them to continue now that he’s home. “The last thing she asks me before she goes to bed at night now is, “Are you going to write me a note for tomorrow?” said Philip. "So I have to make sure she has a note every day.”
I have to make sure she has a note every day.
-Philip Gray
THE POWER IN YOUR WORDS
Philip’s daily messages spoke directly to Rosie and helped bridge the distance gap. The sweet gesture touched not only his daughter but thousands of others.
It’s a story with an unforgettable lesson: WORDS MATTER.
Influence doesn’t require a novel. Ernest Hemingway, as legend tells it, once wrote a six-word story: “For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.”
In only six simple words, readers can feel the heartbreak.
Words matter, both in business and personal life, because words carry power.
As both Hemingway and Sergeant Philip Gray illustrated, complicated phrases aren’t needed to make an impact. But you must know your audience and speak to their heart.
COMPANIES AND COPYWRITING
Companies with failed marketing campaigns always share one thing in common: their messaging is wrong.
They use the wrong words, the wrong phrases, and the wrong call-to-actions. As a result, their message falls on deaf ears.
Why do business owners spend tons of money on a website design (or any marketing project) but then scrimp on copywriting? It’s a big mistake.
Your copy serves as the foundation of your brand. It also impacts sales more than any other element. Before adding pretty bells and whistles to your marketing, think through your message.
People buy things they understand. If it’s too complicated, they’ll often choose someone else who can describe it better. Even if it’s an inferior brand.
People buy things they understand.
If it’s too complicated,
they’ll often choose someone else
who can describe it better.
So be ruthless with your message until you get it right. It shows up everywhere. It’s in web pages, brochures, social media, blogs, ads, scripts, and email campaigns.
If you don’t consider yourself much of a writer, then hire someone. It’s worth it. A great copywriter will make you more money than the amount you invest in them.
A copywriter for the Wall Street Journal once wrote a direct mail letter that generated over $2 billion in sales.
TOP TEN COPYWRITING TIPS
Whether you try copywriting yourself or hire a pro, consider these tips an evaluation tool:
1) TELL STORIES
Stories grab readers by the collar and pull them in. Without them, you lessen the impact. People remember stories more than facts.
2) PLACE YOUR NOUN AND VERBS TOGETHER
Sounds like elementary school, right? Simple sentences serve as the foundation of great writing. The more distance between nouns and verbs, the harder a reader has to work. Make it easier for them.
3) GO EASY ON THE ADJECTIVES AND ADVERBS
Use them like salt and pepper — sparingly. Remember, the goal is a conversational tone. When people talk, notice the simplicity of their language.
4) STAY MORE ACTIVE THAN PASSIVE
Avoid too many uses of “is” “was” “were” and “to be.” It’s not wrong to use passive voice but do so in moderation. Tip: To change from passive to active, identify your subject.
5) KEEP PARAGRAPHS SHORT
It’s all about readability. Too-long paragraphs intimidate readers. Yes, there are exceptions, but 2-3 sentences offer a nice sweet spot.
6) SHAKE UP SENTENCE LENGTH
Here’s an example from ProWritingAid:
“I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals – sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”
7) USE THE WORD “YOU” FOR BUSINESS MARKETING
Talk about the customer more than yourself. Make them the focus instead of your company. Example: “You’ll sleep better on this mattress” instead of “We make the best mattress.” A subtle but powerful change.
8) WRITE FOR SCANNING EYES
Studies show that people scan more than they read. I know, it hurts. You slave over the right words but readers skip them. The solution? Use headers, pop-out quotes, images, and bolding. Draw readers' attention to your main ideas.
9) READ IT OUT LOUD
Once you finish your masterpiece, read it out loud. If it reads clunky, consider changing your text. Speaking your text often reveals more than your eyes can see.
10) MAKE THE MAGIC HAPPEN WITH EDITING
Professional writers will tell you: first drafts look ugly, but editing transforms stones into statues. Cut needless phrases, remove cliches, and slice repeated words. This discipline separates the good from the great.
THE KEY QUESTION
If you had to write 270 index card messages to a potential customer, what would you say?
If you had to write 270 index card messages to a potential customer, what would you say?
You don’t need big business words or overused catchphrases.
How about making it simple? Start from a place of sincerity and understanding. Speak to Rosie. Use the language of your audience.
Once you do, they might keep asking for more.
NEED COPYWRITING HELP?
We’d love to help with your next copywriting project:
Website copy
Social media
Direct mail
Email campaigns
Blog articles and white papers
Scripts for TV and radio
Brochures and catalogs
Print ads
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We offer fast turnaround and 25 years of experience with industries ranging from airports to petting zoos.
About Me
Hey, I’m Brian, co-founder of Genie Jar Digital. Born a Tar Heel but now a Virginian, I’m a father of five and the husband of one amazing lady. My family has a thing for Golden Retrievers. Given the right circumstances, I can do a mean moonwalk on a slick kitchen floor.
